E-mail to Isme (Isme.com) customer service after their letter offering discount on clothing for today’s modern woman.

To whom it may concern,

I am a 29 year old male, with absolutely zero interest in cross dressing or a new career as a drag queen, so am curious as to why you’ve felt the need to send me a letter offering me £10 off your “Savoir redefined collection in sizes 6 – 32 for today’s modern woman”.

Whilst this offer is clearly very generous, I will have to decline. Unfortunately, even if I were interested in a nice new evening gown or something of the like, I sadly wouldn’t know what size to order. I would like to think I would be a svelte six, but alas, I fear I may be more of a 12-14, and with my frame, I’d end up looking like a drunken bachelor being made to dress up for his stag do. I can’t help but feel I wouldn’t look that glamorous to be honest.

So it is with this in mind that I request my removal from your mailing list, which I must add, is something I never signed up for. I’m registered with the mailing preference service, and unsolicited junk mail is in breach of this.

My name is Stuart Humphries, of ******************************* (Address removed for blog).

I request this as a matter of urgency. Whilst I’m sure your “not your daughter jeans” would look delightful on my burly frame, I feel that at an representative variable APR of 39.7%, I would need to sell a kidney or my first born just to meet my repayments.

Thank you for your time and hopefully swift action, I look forward to your response, which I am lead to believe from your website should be delighting my inbox within 24 hours.

Yours,
Stuart Humphries.

Amazon Customer Service/Yodel/HDNL

This transcript of a live web chat with Amazon customer service pretty much speaks for itself. The first line isn’t me, its the “subject line” which auto inserts as your first comment.

Some may ask why I didn’t volunteer the specifics of the problem.  As someone who has worked previously in customer service, I have always found it best practice to ask a customer about the specifics of their complaint once they have had the initial “vent” moment.  During this conversation it almost became a source of amusement at how disinterested this Amazon representative was, and just how obviously I could offer this information and STILL be blatantly ignored.  Needless to say, I intend to highlight this disinterest to a more senior, or slightly more interested, channel within Amazon.

So anyway, here is the conversation, in full, and unedited:

You are now connected to Karthik from Amazon.co.uk.

Me:Yodel/Home Delivery Network are useless.

Karthik:Hello, my name is Karthik, I’ll be happy to help you.

Me:Hi, I wanted to leave feedback reference your courier delivery service
I always opt for free super saver delivery as I want the item via Royal Mail who provide a reliable service.
Lately, you have started to use Yodel, formerly Home Delivery Network for your deliveries
every single time this has happened, I have had problems trying to get my order successfully.
Why are you using such a useless delivery service? A quick google will show you how unreliable they are, and amazon are starting to get very negative feedback as a result.

Karthik:I’m sorry to learn of your trouble, Stuart.
I’ll be sure to escalate your comments to our transportation team.
I realise that it does reflect badly on Amazon.co.uk.
I’m sorry for the trouble you’ve had with the delivery of our recent orders.

Me:I appreciate you escalating this, and that my concerns are noted, however I feel it should be noted that due to the service I have received from Yodel/Home Delivery Network (who apparently changed their name purely to disassociated themselves from negative online feedback), I am now in a position where I do not want to order from amazon. Amazon have always provided me with an excellent service, but unfortunately that service cannot be fulfilled if Yodel are the middle man, so I’m going to be shopping elsewhere in future, unless you can suggest an alternative?

Karthik:At the moment, we are unable to assign specific carriers to orders, however, our transportation team will be able to look into this.

Me:So as the next step for my personal complaint, will someone from the transportation team contact me regarding this? I appreciate your position in customer service and how you need to pass it to the relevant department, but I would like answers from the specific department so I can know whether I am able to use your service again or not?

Karthik:Unfortunately, they are unable to contact you directly. Be assured that they will be able to take any corrective actions necessary.

Me:That’s a bit meaningless to me, as I will not have any indication of whether you will stop using such an awful service, and when therefore I can use your service again.
Other than an apology from yourself, which I genuinely do appreciate, this hasn’t resolved any of my concerns, merely been forwarded to someone else to do what they want with.

Karthik:Stuart, Unfortunately, they are unable to provide the information directly, however, I’ll ensure this is escalated right away.

Me:I appreciate that you will escalate this, and hope that it will go some way towards helping other customers who are having problems. The sad thing is that this is obviously just an exercise in placating a customer complaint, which is proven by the fact that at no point have you asked what the specific problem is. This I find a shame, as I have always found Amazon to be customer orientated.

Karthik:I apologise for your trouble, Stuart.
Unfortunately, I’ll be sure to forward your comments.
Could I be of any further assistance to you?

Me:So do you not need to know what the specific problem is then? Just saying “I don’t like them” is enough to forward? Shouldn’t feedback be specific to the actual problem?

Karthik:Stuart, I understand that the delivery has been unreliable with HDNL and our transportation team will investigate the delivery of your recent deliveries with HDNL/YODEL.

Me:I genuinely don’t even know how to respond to this. I’m speechless.

Karthik:Be assured that we take full responsibility for the delivery of your order and we will ensure that corrective actions are taken for HDNL/YODEL.

Me:Thank you very much, I am very hopeful that this problem, of which you know no details, is rectified.

Karthik:I’m sorry for the inconvenience, Stuart. Please click “End Chat” to close this window.

***End of chat***

Please, share this with as many people as possible. Hopefully if enough people complain about the shoddy delivery service HDNL/Yodel, Amazon may take action… or at the very least show a mild curiosity to what the problem actually is…

Panorama – Undercover Care

I have just spent the last hour watching the Panorama Undercover Care special.  This programme detailed the systematic abuse of people with various learning disabilities who were assessed and deemed unable to live outside of a care home environment.

The problem with this statement is that key word.  CARE.  These poor poor people were sent to a unit which was supposed to provide them with the assistance they needed to get the most out of their lives.  Instead, they have been systemically abused and tortured.

I am genuinely horrified by what I’ve just seen, and can’t begin to imagine their suffering, and the pain this realisation must have caused their families.

These people have been born with disabilities that have left them vulnerable and to an extent, unable to lead a life most of us do.  These are people who need love and support around them constantly, and to be helped by people who understand their psychological state and know how best to deal with it to ensure they lead full and happy lives.

Instead of this, they are left with a group of underqualified, rank, arrogant, and downright disgusting excuses for human beings.  These so called “carers” took abuse to a whole new level, and took pleasure in TORTURING people who had already been dealt an unfair hand by fate itself.

To me, it is quite clear that these “carers” enjoyed excercising their power trip over those people unable to fight back.  Bullies, picking on the weak prey who they knew were unable to stand up for themselves.

Failed by the system, it has sadly taken a TV documentary to get any action taken.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad it has happened so that these people can be free of the evil inflicted upon them, but it shouldn’t have been necessary.  Abuse of this severity should be easily identifiable.

What is worrying is the idea that this could be happening elsewhere.  Whether through choice or not, the majority of parents who have a child taken into care due to a disability will be putting a lot of faith into a system which clearly isn’t working here at least.  How can we trust that this isn’t just one of many?

The people who commited these crimes have apparently been arrested.  I hope they are sent to prison to rot.  I hope other inmates hear about what they did to vulnerable disabled people, and I hope they show them the true meaning of the word karma.  These “carers” deserve to be shown what suffering and torture feels like.

I know many people argue about “being the bigger person”, and yes, that has it’s place.  However, with people who are evil to the core as these are, “an eye for an eye” seems the only fair outcome to me.

My heart goes out to the people who suffered at the hands of this hellish regime, and I hope and pray that they are not affected long-term by this.  Sadly, I imagine that isn’t much of a possibility. Realistically,it would be a miracle not to be scarred by it.

Thank you Panorama, for bringing this story to the forefront of the nation, and forcing the hand of the regulators and police.

 

Cardiff or Swansea?

I have lived in both Swansea and Cardiff.  In fact, I still do.  On my days off I live in Cardiff with my partner.  When I am working, I live with a friend in Swansea, as it’s an easier commute to Carmarthen from there.

Which city is better, Cardiff or Swansea?  If you asked 100 people from Swansea, they’d say Swansea.  If you asked 100 people from Cardiff, they’d say Cardiff.  Of course, this is obvious.  Where it becomes interesting, is when you ask people from OUTSIDE these two places.  The majority of people I know prefer Cardiff.  The question is, why?  Is it purely because Cardiff is the Welsh Capital?  An obvious advantage yes, but I don’t think that’s the reason….

Cardiff has always seemed to have the upper hand.  They were granted city status in 1905, where as Swansea didn’t get this until 1969.  By this point, Cardiff had already been declared capital of Wales.

So is it a question of time?  Has it always been a one horse race?  By the time Swansea became a city, Cardiff had already hosted the Commonwealth Games (1958), and become the home of the Welsh Office.  This was soon followed by the Arts Council For Wales, and the Welsh Development Agency.

Swansea has been fighting an uphill battle.  Whilst Cardiff had its share of disaster during World War 2, Swansea was practically flattened.  Yet the people refused to be defeated.  Swansea was rebuilt from the ground up.  It’s this sort of thing that makes me proud to be Welsh.  As the song goes, “I get knocked down, but I get up again…”.

So whilst Swansea had to step back and start again, Cardiff was like a juggernaut… or was it?  Whilst making a name for itself in the political and sporting world, industry was struggling.  The East Moor steelworks closed in 1978, and Cardiff’s population dropped dramatically (5% over ten years).

So was this the start of Cardiff and Swansea drawing even?  It’s no surprise that the 1980′s were a hard time for the whole of the UK.  Changes needed to be made.  Coming into the 1990′s, both cities had battled through the hardship, and came out fighting.  Swansea and Cardiff were among very few cities (outside London) that experienced growth in population during this decade.

Call centres brought much-needed jobs, a growing local economy saw town centres grow and flourish.  Things were on the up… for now.

There was a double-edged sword just around the corner… retail parks.  I LOVE retail parks.  All the shops I want, in one place.  Easy access and well designed road systems.  Generally away from the city centre’s, so traffic is lighter… and you can park right in the middle of this consumer paradise, FREE OF CHARGE!!!

For the consumer, this was brilliant.  For the High Street, it definitely wasn’t.  Another nail in the coffin was the dawn of the online shop.  The overheads for these companies is greatly reduced, allowing cheaper pricing.

This raises another question… Why is the centre of Cardiff still developing, whilst Swansea appears to have stalled?

In Cardiff, the recent development of the St David’s 2 shopping centre is very intriguing to me.  It’s a hybrid of sorts.  A shopping centre, with on site car park, in the middle of the city… retail park meets High Street…

I know what you’re thinking.  The Quadrant.  Swansea has had the Quadrant Shopping Centre for years.  With a multi-storey car park attached to Debenhams, and a central location, is this not the same thing?  Or is it that the stores within the St Davids Centre are slightly more cosmopolitan than those of the Quadrant? or is it my BIGGEST bone of contention…

ROAD SYSTEMS.

Swansea’s road system is shocking.  Abysmal in comparison to Cardiff.  Box junction after box junction.  Confusing one way systems.  Traffic congestion on an epic scale at times.  I’m not saying Cardiff has the perfect network.  Realistically, no evolving city can.  All I can say is that I am far more comfortable driving through Cardiff.  The road system seems more… logical.  When you are trying to get people into the city, this is vital. 

Tourism is vital to any cities survival.  Comparison is very difficult here. 

Swansea has the beaches of the Gower.  Fantastic views and great surfing conditions.  The Liberty stadium is attracting high-profile acts such as Pink and JLS.  The SA1 development, whilst in its infancy, looks promising.  Sadly, the recent recession was bad timing for SA1, but it’s not a lost cause yet… 

Cardiff has a growing city centre, with the St Davids Shopping Centre,and a multitude of lovely arcades.  The Castle provides wonderful multilingual tours.  The beauty of Bute Park is evident all year round.  The Millennium Stadium has become a world-famous stadium.  Then there’s Cardiff Bay… where do you begin?

I think Cardiff Bay is definitely the trump card in this debate.  There is no competition.  Techniquest is great for children. The Red Dragon Centre plays host to Capital FM, Odeon cinema, a casino, and various restaurants. Ikea is just around the corner. The Wales Millennium Centre, a hub of creativity and reasonably priced performances.  Roald Dahl Plass has become a popular amphitheatre.  The Norwegian Church is now a popular art centre.  The Pierhead building has been re-opened as a Welsh history museum. To top it off, a restaurant quarter with a diverse range of choices to suit all the family.

I love Cardiff Bay.  It’s so relaxed and welcoming.  It’s aesthetically pleasing.  It embraces modern living, yet retains its historical roots.

I think there will always be competition between Cardiff and Swansea.  Competition is healthy, it inspires creativity.  These two cities should be loved by all Welsh people.  They are equally important in our history, and will be as important in our future.  Sadly, this isn’t always a shared opinion. Competition can become aggressive.  A South Wales Derby football match between the Cardiff Blues and the Swans can result in violent and destructive behaviour.  Thankfully, this is a small portion of society.

In summary, I find that the question “Which city is better?” is not an easy one to answer.  Even as an outsider, it comes down to preference. These two cities have grown in different ways, and accommodate different things.  Cardiff wins for me.  It feels like home.  I like Swansea, but I love Cardiff. 

It’s up to you which you prefer, and your reasons will be just as valid as mine.  It’s about which one best accommodates your needs. 

People from Cardiff and Swansea will always have their differences.  Just remember one thing:

Both cities are a valid part of a well oiled machine.  That machine is Wales… and isn’t she beautiful?

Born This Way?

This week, Lady Gaga released her new single Born This Way.  Of all her singles, this seems to be the most talked about.  Before people had even heard it, they had declared Friday 11 February as Born This Way Friday.  Three days before this, the words Trois Jour trended on Twitter because of it.  Shortly before that Twitter people the world over went wild with excitement for the lyrics.  People loved a song they hadn’t even heard.

You have to give the girl credit, she knows how to create hype, yes?  The question, however, is this…. is it justified?

I can’t answer for everyone, I’m sure opinions will vary.  Knowing Twitter, you will be more than happy to share these opinions.  I welcome this.

So my opinion?  Yes.  It really is.  I love the song.  I LOVE what it stands for even more.  You see, as you’ve probably read in previous posts, I was the child who was picked on.  I was the gay one.  I was the chubby kid.  The one who didn’t fit in.  I spent years in school feeling lost, confused, scared.  I went through hell, and I had nothing to relate to.

Lady Gaga sings, with passion, about something she genuinely believes in.  Everyone is perfect in their own way.  If you doubt that, then you should read up on the amount of effort she put into her fight to repeal Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.  Using her status to such positive effect is admirable.  You only have to watch an interview with her to see that she spends just as much time promoting her activism, as she does promoting her songs.

The clothes, the outfits, the make up, the hats, the hair… Everyone talks about it.  Everyone expects it.  It’s creativity.  Its not conforming.  It’s being that kid that doesn’t fit in and saying “You know what, I don’t care.  I don’t fit in, and I’m not even trying to anymore, I’m ME.”  It’s symbolic, in a sense.

Lady Gaga is not someone who is all about the money, or the glamour.  I’m sure it’s a lovely bonus, yes, but I genuinely believe that her fans are her life.  I feel part of something.  I feel like I belong.  I’m 28 years old, and I can gain confidence and happiness… from a song.  I feel able to stand tall (with my paws up).

Lady Gaga, I salute you.  I think that you’re music is brilliant.  I think you’re unique.  I think you’re a little bit lovely, to be honest.  I hope that young teens going through what I went through listen to Born This Way and draw strength from it.  I hope that it highlights further the issues faced, bringing it to the surface.  Let it boil over.  It’s time people just accept that we are what we are…. and leave us to it.  Leave us enjoy life, and allow us to be ourselves, without judgement.  No matter gay, straight, or bi, lesbian, transgender life, we’re on the right track, baby… we were Born This Way.

Born This Way

Robin Hood?

Apparently there are 5 million people currently waiting for council houses in the UK.  This number continues to grow.  Under new plans to be introduced by the coalition government, short term tenancy agreements may be introduced to new tenants, so that their situation can be regularly reviewed.  It is quite obvious to me that the logic behind this is to make sure they actually need a council house.  Apparently some people view it differently.

Rah rah cuts to housing benefits, blah blah everyone will be homeless, less legal aid payments, rich government, yada yada poor people suffer.

NO. I’m sorry, but just, no.  Whilst I completely agree that certain people are deserving of assistance with housing, we ALL know that some people really take the proverbial piss.  People who can’t work because of a bad back, who go on to mow the lawn and carry shopping bags that would cripple an olympic weightlifter.  Alcoholics/drug addicts who claim benefits and purposely make themselves as unemployable as possible.  I personally know one person who is horrified that her benefits may be cut as she “Can’t work because she is just to emotional and tired, and not in the right place mentally for work.”

A friend of a friend has had five children by three men.  This girl obviously doesn’t work, yet earns more than me in benefits.  she wasn’t happy in her council house, so she moved in with her boyfriend and sublet it to make more money. 

Benefits are there for a reason, as is housing.  People scream in the press about the injustice and suffering these people have to go through.  My personal view?  Cull the people abusing the system, free up some cash, and pay more to those who deserve it. 

A woman I work with has an autistic daughter.  On the scale used to measure autism, she is classed as “severe”.  This woman has been fighting recently to get her funding for items that will assist in her quality of life.  So far, after much paperwork, its fallen on deaf ears.  This is a genuine case of someone having needs society should meet.  This person is afflicted with a condition that is incurable. This person DESERVES help.

You may not like my “right wing” view on this, but indulge me whilst I explain my justification….

I have worked full time since I was 16.  I currently work 12 hour shifts, days and nights.  I don’t claim any benefits, I don’t have children, and I rent privately at significant cost to myself. 

Why am I being penalised?!

I pay tax, and national insurance, on my wages.  I also pay private rent costs, council tax, and utilities with no discounts.

If I didn’t work, and told my doctor I had depression or something similar, I would have a council house, with reduced bills, and an easy life.  Hell, if I persuade someone to have a few sprogs with me, I can make a killing!

I agree with what this government is trying to do.  It isn’t about “making the poor poorer”.  It’s about making sure that the money us workers pay gets used appropriately.  Its about cutting the dead weight on the “social” and freeing up the money for those who genuinely need it. 

Surely we can all see the logic in that? No? Fuck it then, who fancies having my babies and sharing some antidepressants?

The Gayness of it all

I never thought blogging would be my thing, but I recently read someone else’s post and realised that 140 characters is limiting for some answers, and you sometimes feel inspired to share something more detailed with people.

The blog I read was about a guy who struggled to come to terms with his sexuality, in part because he didn’t fit the “normal profile” of a gay man.

I think maybe some background would help here. I realised I was gay when I was about eleven years old. I didn’t fully understand it, but by the time I was thirteen, after a horribly poor attempt at sex education by my school, I knew EXACTLY what I was.

I lived in a small town in West Wales, and until I was sixteen I lived under the illusion that I was the only gay person in at least Wales, if not the whole of the UK.  You have to remember that this was at a time when the Internet was not common in many households, and gaydar was unheard of (at least in my world!).

I felt lonely, confused, and scared. I kept my dirty little secret until I was confronted by two friends, who changed my life by supporting me through the next few years, which included my coming out at sixteen.

I did this by drinking a litre of vodka, and then drunkenly telling my mum, who then told my dad. My dad walked out, and the next day my mum took me to the doctor. To this day, she can’t understand her own reasoning, it just seemed appropriate in her emotional state I guess.

Things were so uncomfortable, that I fled to London to stay with my aunt for a fortnight. Being younger than my parents, she understood, and had no problems with my sexuality. Living in London, she had seen it all before, as they say.

Anyway, I’m rambling on. The point is that for years I battled my demons, and slowly shared them with the people I love. The reactions were mixed. I will never forget the phone conversation with my nan. It took me a while to say the words, and I sat frozen waiting for a reaction. Her exact words? “Oh is that all? I was worried something was wrong! I already guessed that, I would have been more surprised if you were phoning to tell me you were straight! “

I should point out here that whilst my parents initial reaction was bad, we got through it very quickly, and now are as solid as parents and children can be. I recently asked my mother if she had the chance to go back and magically make me straight would she do it? The answer was instant, “No, because you wouldn’t be you. “  My whole family accept me for who I am. My friends and workmates too.

And now on to the reason for this post.  I have shared some rather personal stuff here.  Its not because I am pouring my heart out, or looking for sympathy. Its because I am trying to show that as a gay male, who had what can be classed as a successful coming out story, I still suffered.  I spent years hiding who I was, because my perception of gay was camp glittery queens, and I wasn’t one of those! I couldnt find a role model, someone to make me feel right in my own skin.

I find myself greatly saddened by the stories recently of teen suicides. People who were driven to a point of anguish so great that it consumed them.  I wonder how many of them did this out of fear of the unknown?  Fear of not being accepted?  If you’ve been through this yourself, you will know how all encompassing that fear is.

It’s unfortunate that society has this stigma about what they perceive to be a gay person. The glitter and limp wrists etc. Yes, there are those that embrace the obviously gay lifestyle, and sadly those that are defined by it. What people need to realise is that it isn’t a steadfast rule.

Thankfully these days, roughly ten years on from my own coming out experience, we have made a massive leap in acceptance of homosexuality, and whilst we still have a long way to go, I’m proud of this country and its attitude.  Yes, there are a select few that still have a caveman approach to society, but generally, people get it now.  People accept there are differences.  We are far more open minded now.

When I was growing up, the only gay people I saw on TV were the likes of Graham Norton and Julian Clary.  I’m not saying their personalities are a bad thing, I’m just saying they didn’t help me.

I’m so pleased that more and more celebrities are choosing to come out of the closet.  I might not be a fan of his music as such, but you’ve only got to watch Will Young talking to Jeremy Clarkson on Top Gear to realise he doesn’t fit the mould.  Gareth Thomas, rugby player, is inspirational.  He made the choice to come out whilst playing in quite possibly the most “manly” sport there is.  The support he has had from the sporting world, as well as his own teammates warms my heart.  He will have undoubtedly affected many lives in a very positive way.

There is an American project currently underway called “It Gets Better”.  Three words which explain it all really.  We need to ensure that the youth of today realise that it does, in fact, get better.  We all have our crosses to bear, and our demons to battle, but we come out of it stronger.  Wiser.  HAPPIER.

My name is Stuart, I am a 27 year old gay male.  I save lives for a living, I have a boyfriend whom I am very happy with, and a cat called Travis.  My wrist is not limp, and I hate glitter.  If you walked past me, you wouldn’t know I was gay.  If you spoke to me, you wouldn’t know I was gay.  We don’t all fit the cliche, we are all different.  My sexuality is a part of me, its not a definition of me.